Thursday, January 21, 2010

For the Love of All Things Crispy, Don't Call Me Ma'am

I’m gonna let you in on a secret -- just between you and me.
Ugh, I can’t believe I’m doing this.
Here goes ...
What, you’re not surprised? Well I am. Quite frankly, I’m pissed off!
I’ve had issues with my age ever since my 26th birthday.
Why 26? Because I was no longer in my early 20’s.

And don’t get me started on the irrational emotions on the eve of my 40th!
Can you say insane? Well, I know my family can.
Then the unthinkable happened.
Three days before my birthday I was in a department store and a sales lady stepped in front of me to show me “wrinkle cream for around the eyes.”
Then, because of the tears, she didn’t think “the cream would be very effective.”
Great! Now what do you have for red puffy eyes?

My 42nd birthday is coming up, and still, I continue to be amazed when people don’t think I’m 24. Why is that?
Last week I went to a department store for a mini makeover. I thought it would be fun -- I guess this time I set myself up for the disappointment.
I asked the girl, “What moisturizer do you recommend to help prevent fine lines? I’m starting to get a little crease between the brows.”
She pulled out a product and began raving about the cream as she applied it, saying, “My mom has that crease, and I told her …”
Her voice trailed off, as it was now drowned out by my own voice screaming in my head.
Mom! Did she just compare me to her mother? Oh my god! How old is this girl? How old is her mother?
I began to rationalize in my head.
Maybe she is, like, er, I don't know, 20. Okay … I guess, I could be her mother. Maybe her mother is young and looks great. But still, NOT cool.
Let me just say: I’m not good at guessing a person’s age. I later found out that she is married with two kids.

Sorry, I'm trying to get to the point.
As I look around, it seems to me that many of my peers are growing old “gracefully.” They seem comfortable with themselves –- even embracing their age and maturity. They act like moms, with their schedules and routines and stuff.
I’ve never been any good at that. I’m laid back. I like to fool around, make jokes, and act crazy with my kids. I listen to Radio Disney when the kids aren't in the car.
I love Wizards of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana, Jonas, Phineas & Ferb, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Suite Life, and iCarly. (Yes, I like TV.)

The long and the short of it, is this: I refuse to grow up. I won’t do it.


  1. For the record...your profile pic doesn't look like a woman of 42. Or are you one of those who uses a picture taken 10 years ago?

    You can't let external signs of age erode your internal youth. The people who really matter don't see wrinkles or age spots, only the warmth of your smile and the twinkle in your eye.

  2. This post made me laugh so hard. I still see myself as the age when I got married ... Hopefully my husband does too! Ha ha :)

  3. DL, thank you so much. You are my new favorite person in the world. And for the record, that picture was taken this past weekend.
    By the way, I love the quote on your blog "I may not be the life of the party...but I am it's soul."

  4. Tiana Lei,
    Thanks for leaving a comment. It gives my insecure self some validity.
    I'm glad it made you laugh. I wondered how many other women felt the same way.

  5. I offer to pay people if they won't call me "Ma'am." "Lady" falls somewhere in between my whatEVER shrug and my Instant Death Stare, depending on my mood. Anyone who calls me "miss" or especially "that girl" gets a dozen roses, a plane ticket to Hawaii, and the guarantee that I will find their next optometrist appointment card and rip it to shreds. *smiling sweetly*