Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Was My Face Red?


A handful of customers wandered the drug store aisles that night. No music played over the air and conversation was at a minimum – prime condition for a loud mouth blond to make a fool of herself.

I was 23 years old, newly married, and dirt poor. So, browsing the drug store was our big night out. My husband went one way and I went another. I picked up some decongestant and continued on; scanning the shelves for some sort of ear-flushing kit (not knowing if that sort of thing even existed) but I wanted clean ears.

Then right at eye level, I found it: Ear Wax Removal System. Yes, it does exist! (It took little to excite me.) It was a very small package, with a very small (0.5 oz.) bottle of drops, and it was like ten bucks. So I continued, looking for a better deal. On the bottom shelf I found a system that advertised “Extra Cleaning” and it was only about two bucks. Good deal, and look at that – 7.8 oz. – more for the money.
I grabbed the box off the shelf and went to find my husband.

“You know how you’re always saying I can’t hear you,” I said from the other end of the aisle. Then I held up the box to show him as I approached. “I’m gonna get all that gunk out!”
He looked confused. “With an Enema?”
“Yes silly, it’s for your ears,” I announced. Then looked down at the box, back at him, and naively asked, “What’s an Enema?”

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