Root Canal, Anyone?

I would say that posting to my blog is like pulling teeth, but I used to be a dental assistant, and I know that pulling teeth isn’t really that hard. Now a root canal, that’s a little more difficult. It takes time and precision to get to the apex. That much more describes my problem. I’ll explain.
Time: if I’m at the computer I’m working on my ms.
Precision: I don’t want to ramble.
Apex or “the point”: I have a hard time coming up with a topic to blog about, and that’s the real problem.

I don’t feel I’m someone to offer advice on the craft of writing, especially since there are so many great blogs with great advice out there. Since I’m still working on editing and polishing my ms, there’s not a whole lot to tell. But, I’m hoping to start querying soon, and with that, I can blog about my experience with the process.

That being said, I do have a little something I can share with you, although there’s not much to tell. A week ago I submitted a (humorous) poem for a book to be published 2011. It is my first submission ... ever. Wow, it was hard clicking on that submit button. But the moment I did, I was filled with excitement and relief.

Then, this weekend I found a new writers group – about 25 people – writers of all kinds. That’s way more than I’ve read to before. I was so nervous getting up in front of them. I read the poem that I had just submitted (which by the way I hadn’t read anywhere before) and to my absolute delight … it was a hit! I found myself having to wait for the laughter to die down before starting the next stanza.
Yeah, they got it! Cue Sally Fields acceptance speech. Yes, that was going through my head as I went back to my seat.

Hey look at that, in telling you that I have nothing to talk about, I talked about something. Uh-oh, I might be breaking my “no rambling” rule.

Was My Face Red?

A handful of customers wandered the drug store aisles that night. No music played over the air and conversation was at a minimum – prime condition for a loud mouth blond to make a fool of herself.

I was 23 years old, newly married, and dirt poor. So, browsing the drug store was our big night out. My husband went one way and I went another. I picked up some decongestant and continued on; scanning the shelves for some sort of ear-flushing kit (not knowing if that sort of thing even existed) but I wanted clean ears.

Then right at eye level, I found it: Ear Wax Removal System. Yes, it does exist! (It took little to excite me.) It was a very small package, with a very small (0.5 oz.) bottle of drops, and it was like ten bucks. So I continued, looking for a better deal. On the bottom shelf I found a system that advertised “Extra Cleaning” and it was only about two bucks. Good deal, and look at that – 7.8 oz. – more for the money.
I grabbed the box off the shelf and went to find my husband.

“You know how you’re always saying I can’t hear you,” I said from the other end of the aisle. Then I held up the box to show him as I approached. “I’m gonna get all that gunk out!”
He looked confused. “With an Enema?”
“Yes silly, it’s for your ears,” I announced. Then looked down at the box, back at him, and naively asked, “What’s an Enema?”

Animal Rescues

These are three rescues that I'm involved in. They mean a lot to me. Check out the good work these people do, and please do your part to help an animal in need -- adopt from a rescue.

Monica's Heart - Greyhound Adoption







Mainely Rat Rescue
Feathered Kisses

Immediately after my last post, Neil, AKA That Neil Guy, contacted me for more details regarding number 10 from the "Ten Trivial Truths" list. He wanted to put the story on his blog holydonuts.blogspot.com
I got right back to him with the story, which he posted that night.
Please forgive me, I'm a little slow. That was 7 days ago, and it only now just occured to me to put the story on my own blog. Duh!

The infamous Dunkin’ Donut incident…..
I pulled up to the squawk box and gave my order. Then, this is what I heard:
“That was one large iced coffee with ahhh! Thump. Laugh. Snort.”
I said, “Hello.”
But she was laughing to hard – she couldn’t speak.
So, I drove around the corner wondering what was going on.
That’s when I found the adorable little blond girl lying on the pavement in front of the drive-thru window. As soon as she saw my car, she got up and ran inside.
Moments later, the red-faced blond poked her face through the window, and tried to take my money.
I said, “Not until you tell me what just happened.”
The adorable little blond simply replied, “I saw a shiny quarter on the ground, and thought I could reach it.”

Ten Trivial Truths

I’ve been busy with my ms, and couldn’t think of a topic, so I decided to do a fun list of facts about me. While making up this list I found that I have a lot of embarrassing moments, so that will be a list for another day.

1. I’m an impatient procrastinator
2. I love saying Abu Dhabi
3. I always have sunglasses on my head
4. I’ve never been able to resist a chocolate chip cookie
5. I love being wacky for my kids, but as much as I try, they don’t embarrass easily
6. I thought plethora was a made up word
7. I was a baton twirler in the marching band
8. I’m not good at telling jokes
9. If I can’t think of a word (when I’m talking) I’ll say whatever word pops in my head
10. I once saw a Dunkin Donuts employee fall out of the drive-thru window

From My Drawing Pad

"Melinda at the window"
I haven't drawn in a long time. I did this today. It's a scene from my manuscript, that got stuck in my head.

For the Love of All Things Crispy, Don't Call Me Ma'am

I’m gonna let you in on a secret -- just between you and me.
Ugh, I can’t believe I’m doing this.
Here goes ...
I
am
getting
older.
What, you’re not surprised? Well I am. Quite frankly, I’m pissed off!
I’ve had issues with my age ever since my 26th birthday.
Why 26? Because I was no longer in my early 20’s.

And don’t get me started on the irrational emotions on the eve of my 40th!
Can you say insane? Well, I know my family can.
Then the unthinkable happened.
Three days before my birthday I was in a department store and a sales lady stepped in front of me to show me “wrinkle cream for around the eyes.”
Then, because of the tears, she didn’t think “the cream would be very effective.”
Great! Now what do you have for red puffy eyes?

My 42nd birthday is coming up, and still, I continue to be amazed when people don’t think I’m 24. Why is that?
Last week I went to a department store for a mini makeover. I thought it would be fun -- I guess this time I set myself up for the disappointment.
I asked the girl, “What moisturizer do you recommend to help prevent fine lines? I’m starting to get a little crease between the brows.”
She pulled out a product and began raving about the cream as she applied it, saying, “My mom has that crease, and I told her …”
Her voice trailed off, as it was now drowned out by my own voice screaming in my head.
Mom! Did she just compare me to her mother? Oh my god! How old is this girl? How old is her mother?
I began to rationalize in my head.
Maybe she is, like, er, I don't know, 20. Okay … I guess, I could be her mother. Maybe her mother is young and looks great. But still, NOT cool.
Let me just say: I’m not good at guessing a person’s age. I later found out that she is married with two kids.

Sorry, I'm trying to get to the point.
As I look around, it seems to me that many of my peers are growing old “gracefully.” They seem comfortable with themselves –- even embracing their age and maturity. They act like moms, with their schedules and routines and stuff.
I’ve never been any good at that. I’m laid back. I like to fool around, make jokes, and act crazy with my kids. I listen to Radio Disney when the kids aren't in the car.
I love Wizards of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana, Jonas, Phineas & Ferb, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Suite Life, and iCarly. (Yes, I like TV.)

The long and the short of it, is this: I refuse to grow up. I won’t do it.